Have you informed the elders of the internet about this?

I use Technitium, for that purpose. You can set up DNS records easily and it still has blocking like pi-hole. You can log DNS requests if you need to track down where certain requests are coming from or which devices are making lots of requests. It has quite a few features but I only need a couple.

Nah, power off the oligarchs too

C# because I used to work for a company building asp.net web apps and now I know it too well that it’s just easier.

I also really like kotlin and that’s what most of my professional development is in now, but I find the kotlin coroutine library no match for dotnet’s Task API, so I’m not sure I could switch for my private projects.